How do you handle it when someone else has good news?
Are you sincerely happy for them or do you have a twinge of jealous lurking in your heart? Maybe you have both.
Last month my son won MVP for his school basketball. On Saturday my younger son made the provincial basketball team, which is a huge accomplishment, because he's 13 and it's a U15 team.
I didn't tell you these things to brag, well, okay, I guess I did, but mostly I put them on the blog because I'm proud of my kids.
The thing is when I've told other people about these accomplishments, I've had a wide variety of responses. In regards to my son winning MVP, one parent suggested that the only reason he won because his dad was the coach (for the record, MVP was voted on by 7 different coaches). When I told someone about my younger son they commented on how much it was going to cost us to put him on the team.
When we see others write a great book, get agents, book deals, best selling status, how do we react? Do you go wish them well or do you turn off your computer and bemoan your lack of success?
On that note – Kasie West just announced a two book deal from Harper Collins, go give her a hearty congratulations.
18 comments:
I will admit, I am jealous. Nevertheless, I am happy for them at the same time. It's a great accomplishment for them to achieve, and I hope when my time comes they'll congratulate me.
And Yay for your sons! That is great. Those people sound like jerks.
I am both. Truly happy and a tiny bit jealous. But not jealous in a bad way. Jealous in a - I hope that's me someday way. And I think any writer feels it. It's natural.
Honestly, I'm jealous and yet I'm happy for them at the same time. Is that possible??? I'm also even more motivated to write every day and to become better in the hope of one day knowing what this kind of success feels like.
Whoa, I can't believe those parents said that to you! That seems so rude.
Sometimes I feel a twinge of sadness that might be jealousy and I don't want to admit it? but mostly I'm happy for people. I def. believe in timing and that God has a plan, so that makes it easier for me to be happy for others. Congrats to your boys!!! and I'm heading to Kasie's blog now. I didn't realize she was so close to publishing!
Congratulations, Kasie! And I think, even if it's natural to feel some jealousy, we should never allow that to poison our praise.
It does have a way of deflating your bubble of joy when you tell a friend about a wonderful accomplishment and they find a way to minimalize it just because they're jealous.
I really don't get too jealous. I sometimes wish it was happening to me, but doesn't everyone? I know my time will come. Someday. :) I'm SO happy for Kasie. She totally deserves it. Love her! :)
We should always be happy when others have good news. There are more occasions to be unhappy than happy so we should always make the most of any happiness that comes in our vicinity!
Great points, Patti. I genuinely feel excited for people like Beth and Elana and now Kasie (and anyone else, of course). I totally want them to be a huge success. Do I have a pang of yearning and wishfulness? You bet. But it doesn't take away from my joy for others. :-)
It all depends on who it is. With close, really close friends and family I never seem to get jealous but with others I can do - after all I'm only human.
What an odd thing for that person to say.
I usually feel a smattering of all kinds of things mixed together, but I work hard to let the good feelings, the joy and the elation float to the top...I'm hoping that's the stuff I let out.
~ Wendy
I admit it. When I see others get a book deal or an agent, I am happy for them, but I also experience jealousy. I think that is perfectly normal. :-) Makes me work harder, too!
I think those that reacted negatively to the news of your children's accomplishments were being spiteful, plain and simple. Don't worry about them.
I think jealousy is a natural first response. It doesn't mean you're not happy for the person, but envy is human nature if it's something we're also striving for.
I think there are two types of jealousy: the good kind that makes you want to get better and achieve your goals, and the evil one that makes you wish something bad happens to the other person. (Like you wish the other person wouldn't have achieved what she did, or something.)
I think that I have the first type of jealousy. I mean, I do get jealous, but I never wish the others something bad. I get really happy for them! :D
My guess is people who feel jealous are rather insecure about their own lives. Not much you can do about that.
I say enjoy their successes.
People are funny, aren't they?
This is a great topic because it's not one we like to talk about much, but we've all thought about it.
I am honestly happy for someone else when they have good news, followed by a slight twinge of self-doubt or something because why can't I have good news?
But I never ever badmouth other people who have good news.
That's terrible people reacted that way to your great news about your boys.
I don't get jealous (much) when I hear writers' great news. I know they've worked hard to earn it. :D
Congratulations to your boys. As with any accomplishments, hard work and perserverance proceeds it. When jealous and envy appears in my head/heart, I reflect on what I may not be be giving to myself. Or that I am not acknowleging my own God-given gift and talents. It can be very hard at times!
Congrats to you and your sons! What great accomplishments and rewards!
I'm always surprised when people can be that petty and rude. I wonder if they actually hear the words coming out of their mouths.
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