How do you define yourself?

If you exclude the fact that most of us are mothers, wives, daugthers, or friends. How would define yourself?

Is it your by your actions, your deeds, how you react in times of adversity, how humble you are in times of triumph.

Last week a lady from my church called and asked for three things about myself that people didn't know. After some prodding and pondering, my answers were: I play on a Classic Premier soccer team, I've written a book, and I've climbed fifteen mountains (not sure if that number is totally accurate, but it's somewhere around there).

I thought about it over the weekend and found it funny that I would define myself that way. I could have mentioned that I'm actually incredibly shy around people I don't know (which sometimes gets mistaken for being a snob), I could have said that I'm very accommodating (in order to avoid confrontation). I could have said that I feel like I fall short of most things (which is probably how we all feel, at times). I could have said that I'm an incredibly emotional person and can cry at the drop of a hat.

Instead of defining myself by how I feel or react, I defined myself by what I've accomplished. I guess it's just not wanting to open myself up emotionally to people I don't know very well or at all. Did I mention that I'm also very guarded. I can do it here, because I'm not going to meet any of you in the grocery store tomorrow.

Analogy to writing: How do you define your characters? Finding my characters emotional state of being is the thing I struggle with most, probably because I'm not really in touch with my own. I just read a few chapters for a friend and even though not much action was going on, she nailed her characters emotions so well that it kept me riveted.

I hope that one day I can learn to do that.

Sorry, I kind of wondered around a bit in this post.

Hope everyone has a good week.

Theme for the Weekend

I'm going to push myself to the limit, so my talent will surface.
~Nelly

Mixing the Old with the New

Remember those times when you've boughten a new skirt and brought it home only to find that it doesn't go with anything you own, so you have to go and buy a blouse to match.

That's how I have felt about editing a few scenes these past few weeks.

I'll be editing a scene, taking stuff out, putting stuff in when all it really needed was something completely new. I've opened a new document and rewritten the scene without looking to see if I an old sentence will match.

What do you guys do when you edit? Do you rewrite entire scenes or do you try to mix your new words with the old.?

Recap

The goal this weekend was to rewrite the middle.

This is how the weekend went down.

Friday: Get kids off to school. Clean kitchen (daughter asked me to clean it the night before for her birthday party - exact words "Can you make sure this is cleaned up tomorrow). Phone rings at 10am, daughter has pain in her neck. Bring daughter home, feed her advil. She has a bath. Take her back to school. Go kick a ball around for an hour so I don't hurt myself for my game. Rest of the day spent getting ready for birthday party, making cake, taking six girls swimming and watching the Tooth Fairy.

Saturday: Get a phone call at 9am. One of my players hurt her ribs coughing and now doesn't know if she can play. Spend the next four hours trying to find another player to sub. Go get daughters baseball team photos taken. Get groceries, buy mother's day gift, take kids home. Go to soccer game. Win 3-0 (I got a goal and an assist - go me). Home by 8:30, spend a little time writing.

Sunday: Church, go to parents for lunch, make dinner for mother in law, write a bit.

End result: I have only one chapter left to edit to finish the middle. Will now extend the weekend goal to Monday.

By the Way: Happy Mother's Day to all mothers, would be mothers, or anyone who helps raise a child.

Thanks

Thanks so much for all the words of encouragement yesterday. This community always amazes me. I've never met any of you, but your support means a great deal. It's wonderful to know I have somewhere to turn when things aren't going right.

Onto today. It's still snowing here, part of the ground is covered in the white stuff, but green grass is waiting to emerge, making me believe that once the snow is gone, we'll have a green city and spring can finally begin.

Last night I read through my first six chapters and thought they were really good. In fact, I skimmed through the next few and didn't think I'd have to change much, but chapters 11 and 12 are a different story (they are still covered in snow). I'm hoping once I do my re-writes, I'll have some great chapters.

My job this weekend is to get past the middle. I like my ending and think I will just need a few tweaks, but the middle may need a scene added and a few scenes modified.

I also have a soccer game on Saturday, which will be interesting seeing as we haven't even been outside yet and we have a new coach who doesn't know all of our names. Wish me luck.

Have a good weekend.

Beginning to lose confidence

Inigio: More pursuit than study lately. You see, I cannot find him. It's been twenty years now. I am starting to lose confidence. I just work for Vizzini to pay the bills. There's not a lot of money in revenge.

This what I've been feeling like.

Writing has become more frustrating than rewarding. I cannot seem to find the right words. It's been more years than I wish to admit and I am starting to lose confidence. I just work as a secretary to pay the bills. There's not a lot of money in writing.

If you don't like the weather....

A popular saying where I live is "If you don't like the weather wait five minutes", which is exactly what happened last Thursday

Now I hate to perpetuate a stereotype that in Canada it snows all the time, but last Wednesday night we got hit with a blizzard. Snow fell, wind blew, roads were treacherous. My son had a friend spend the night because he couldn't make it home.

The next morning they canceled school and closed down the highway so I couldn't get to work. To top it off it was my daughter's birthday.

We had a great day of being together, playing games, and going to the gym to shoot some hoops. I made a cake, bought a present and we went out for dinner. By supper time the sun is shining and most of the snow is gone. As we were sitting at the restaurant my son makes this comment, "It's hard to believe today was a snow day."

It was had to believe that within a twelve hour period the weather could change so much. I try to think this way in terms of writing. You never know when things are going to change. You might work on your book one day and it feels like a blizzard, but the next day things turn around. You just never know what the next day may bring.