No one can see inside my mind. Not sure if that's good or bad.

We were watching Flight of the Conchords on the weekend. If you're not familiar with the show, it's about a band from New Zealand trying to make it in New York. In the episode they were having a band meeting with their manager Murray. They're trying to figure out why no one is coming to their gigs.

Murray: We have to face facts - you guys just aren't cool.

Jermaine: I am.

Murray: You may look cool in your mind Jermaine, but when other people are looking at you they don't see what's happening inside your head. They only see the outer shell.

In the show Murray gives the band some hair gel to make them look cool, and suddenly they become a hit.

I found this with my writing. When my husband read my first draft he kept asking me all kinds of questions. I would explain what I meant by a certain sentence or paragraph then he would grumble, "You have to remember that you may know those facts, but your readers don't. They can't read your mind."

After a moment of being offended I went back and re-read my book and realized he was right. (I hate it when that happens). I really need to make sure I struck a balance between laying the story out so that the readers understood without giving too much away.

With time my writing has improved, and just like the hair gel, hopefully It'll help me become a hit.

We've been outed

Last week Jessie outed out writers group: Pretty in Ink, motto: "We Slash the Trash."

I'm going to use Jessie's introductions because she is just so clever, but she neglected to introduce herself.

Jessie Oliveros writes young adult. She actually just finished her first draft in about eight weeks. Amazing. Yes. She has a little boy, who has the same hair color as her, you can't even tell she's holding him in her picture, plus she's about to have another child within the next month. She's revising her draft right now and I can't wait to read it.

Lois Moss also writes young adult. She is a girl from the south and has four children, two of whom she homeschools. (I admire anyone who home schools. I'm way too selfish.) She studied Latin and French in college and used to teach. You may also know her as lotusgirl.

Beth Mann writes women's fiction. She also hails from the south. Beth is the mother of two young children, and her husband is a tech geek which we all know must come in handy as a writer. She gets to go to Starbucks and write sometimes which makes me jealous.

Since Jessie thought we needed a mascot, I decided on a pink ninja bunny, because we're cute, but can slash with the best of them.

Introductions are every thing

In the movie “A Knight’s Tale”, the character Ulrich, played by Heath Ledger, creates an identity in order to compete at jousting competitions. At his first tournament, he’s nervous, scared --- worried that everyone will find out that he is a fake.

Enter his Herald, Geoffrey Chaucer, a man so eloquent with his words that his introduction incites the crowd to a frenzy, causing them to route for a man they had never seen joust before.

This only goes to show that introductions are every thing.

I’ve been reading Donald Maass’ The Career Novelist. (I know I should be reading his book The Fire in Fiction, but I haven’t gotten to the bookstore yet. See Susan's post for great summaries of that book.) I just finished his chapter on “Pitching Errors”. Needless to say I now read with a highlighter in my right hand.

Basically he says that sooner or later we have to bring our novel into society and introductions are everything. Picture this; an agency receives 5000 queries a year (this book was written a while ago, so I’m sure that number is a lot larger now). Said agency only requests one or two partials a day and out of those partials only 40 full manuscripts are chosen. The numbers are daunting.

What’s Donald Maass’ advice: Learn to pitch.

Three questions that need answering:

1. Where is your story set?
2. Who is your hero or heroine?
3. What is the main problem they must overcome?

A setting, sympathetic character, compelling problem. Easy stuff.

I know queries are hard, but he’s right when he says, better to learn now then to try and cram later on.

His last analogy is the best. Few consumer products sell without affective advertising. Think of your query letter as your 30-second commercial.

Spinning Rides

I have decided that editing is a lot like riding a spinny ride. Not a merry go round that's slow and plays fun music, but one of those rides that spins backwards with loud booming music and a DJ yelling, "Do you want to go faster!"

This is the way it goes (at least it does for me).

You start editing your book. After reading through the first five chapters you notice that you're using too many adverbs, so you start watching for the dreaded "ly" words. By chapter six you realize that you over use the word "around", so you highlight each one and try to find a different word, or take it out all together. When you reach chapter eight, you see that your dialogue tags are not mostly "said". Instead they are "explained, exclaimed, asked, yelled, screamed", so you fix those.

When you get to the end, you still have to go back to the beginning and fix all the adverbs, "arounds" and dialogue tags that you missed, but as you make those corrections you find other mistakes and the process starts all over again.

Finally when you think you have everything perfect you give it to your beta readers and you realize that there is a lot more you have to work on. (Don't get me wrong - I absolutely love beta readers. I'm definitely a better writer because of them.)

That is why I think editing is like a spinny ride and right now I'm almost ready to puke.

Finally a reason to be grumpy

In a recent report by an Austrialian psychology expert it has been discovered that being grumpy “is good for you”.

It makes us think more clearly.
Helps us make better decisions.
It makes us less gullible.
Breeds attentiveness and careful thinking.
You can cope with more demanding situations.
A bad mood can promote a more concrete, accommodative and ultimately more successful communication style.

On the flip side, they say that cheerfulness fosters creativity.

So these are my conclusions, when you’re writing your first draft be happy, jovial, and cheerful, because you need to be creative. When it comes to editing feel free to put on a grumpy face, so you can watch for details and be more attentive.

Side note for all those people who live in sunny climates - wet, dreary days sharpen memory, while bright sunny spells make people forgetful.

Scattered

Proof that I've been way too scattered brained for the month of October:

• For the whole month I've been using dishwasher detergent to wash my clothes
• My kids have to say mom, mom, mom, MOM! to get my attention.
• My son has been wearing pants to church for the past month that are way too small.
• I've lost track of how many Halloween candies I've eaten, (that's only the past week).
• I went two days with out showering and that's after playing soccer. I know you can say it yew!
  
• I forgot to check for adverbs on my last round of edits, now I have to go back to the beginning.
• I find myself re-reading the same sentence over and over again and wonder if its any good.
• My chapters are starting to blend together and I think I may need glasses.
• I spend way too much time in front of a computer, both at work and at home.
  
• I completely lost track of my blogs and this is my 100th one.

Happy 100th blog to me, happy 100th blog to me, happy 100th bloooooog. Happy 100th blog to me.

Time to go have another candy. Whose keeping track anyway?

Advice

I've been pregnant three times. I've had morning sickness, gained weight, and craved all sorts of food. I went through labor twice and had three c-sections.

There are two guys in my office who are having their first child so I feel pretty confident about giving advice when they ask me about being pregnant, but I don't know anything about actually having a baby naturally. I can tell them about the challenges I had trying to recovery from c-sections, but that's about it.

I kind of feel like this with my journey into writing a book if I were to equate it to a pregnancy. I think I'm about to start my second trimester.

First Trimester:
I've written the book.
I've edited a book - many times.

Second Trimester:
I queried a couple of years ago, but not a lot - so I can give a little bit of advice.
Query Agents
Get an Agent.

Third Trimester:
Book deal.

I'm very excited to going through the whole thing, so I can give advice on it all.

What trimester are you in?