Wednesday, September 7, 2011

It's okay to disagree

The other day my boys showed me a video of a cop being rough with a skateboarder. Here's a link if you want to go see it. My boys thought the cop was a complete jerk and hoped he lost his job. I agreed that he went too far but I had a little more empathy for him. I thought about all the disrespectful kids he probably has to deal with everyday. I imagined that maybe his wife had told him she was leaving him, or that he had just been demoted and instead of patrolling the streets, he had to ride around in a little car telling punk kids to stop skateboarding on the steps.

We got into a rather spirited conversation. In the end I told them it was okay to disagree and that we didn't always have to think the same things just as long as we don't end up mad at each other.

The same goes for writing. You don't always have to change everything your crit partners says you should (although my CP is awesome and I always agree with her suggestion). You don't have to blog like others blog. You don't have to write like others write.

In the end its okay not to do things the same, (in fact we shouldn't), but we do need to respect each other's differences.

If you went to watch the video, how did you feel?

11 comments:

....Petty Witter said...

I agree that we sometimes simply have to agree to disagree - to let arguements/disagreements rest and move on.

Melissa Marsh said...

Amen. Agreeing to disagree is sometimes really hard to do, but it's important in this world of ours.

Carolyn V said...

I think agreeing to disagree is a good thing. I've gotten some crits that I have to say, "Mmmm, no." But others that improved the story a ton. =)

Laurel Garver said...

I've always wondered why the adult world hates skateboarders so much. It's a mystery to me. The kids are getting fresh air and exercise, not breaking things or destroying property. It seems like there ought to be a place for peaceful protest against anti-skate ordinances that are kind of dumb and unjust--but, as you say, without shouting and hatefulness.

Most of my CPs have a "take with a grain of salt" approach, so they are OK with my not incorporating every suggestion. I always consider and weigh their opinions though.

Jessie Oliveros said...

Yes, don't change everything your CP says you should. And by "awesome" I think you might mean "helpful but takes forever." Go enjoy some of that 84 degrees.

Jolene Perry said...

84 degrees sounds PERFECT. LOVELY. We're down to the fifties.

I think it takes everyone a while to find crit partners they like, and ones that get us and our writing, but still pick out all the stuff we could do better.

Shannon O'Donnell said...

This is so true, Patti, and something I work on all the time with my students!! :-)

Elana Johnson said...

Differences are the spice of life. I mean, it would be so boring if all we had were people like ourselves. I try hard to accept people the way they are.

ali cross said...

Wow, what a great lesson! Both for life and for writing. I admire you for taking the time to have that conversation with your boys. Great parenting there!

Lynn said...

I couldn't finish watching the video. I wonder what the story is behind the story too. Is he trying to get on Youtube? On the news? Media has become a medium to get popular-'reality' entertainment to get ratings. I guess that is another whole post!

I am glad for other opinions. It keeps me fresh and, hopefully, open to learning more about people.

Heidi Willis said...

An interesting video for sure. I think the police seemed too harsh, but I tend to do what you did, too, and wonder what makes someone act a certain way at a certain time.

It bugs the dickens out of my husband because I'm constantly saying "Maybe that person is having a really bad day," or "Maybe they just got horrible news like their mother is dying of cancer or something," and he says, "Why are you always on someone else's side??"

It's not that I'm on the other person's side, but I think it's important to understand that everyone - including me - has bad moments that don't truly reflect on who we are.

And I agree that disagreeing is okay. As long as we can be nice about it. :)