Wednesday, June 30, 2010

A Decent Player

So far my soccer season has been going pretty good. We have a new coach who is from St. Lucia and a phenomenal soccer player, although half the time we can't quite undersand what he is saying. Out of the eight games we've played, we've won 5, lost 2, and tied 1.

As of right now I have five goals, which puts me tied for first place in scoring for our division, which consists of ten teams.

Just for clarification I play in the Classic Premier division (another way of saying over 35). There is only one other division higher than us, which is Classic Major.

The other day I received an email from a Classic Major team, a team which has finished in first place ever since they became a team. They've won provincials and competed at the National level.

This is what the email said, I have heard through several reliable sources that you are a decent player. Then they asked if I'd be willing to sub for them when they are in need of a player. I had to laugh when I read that because first of all saying you are a decent player isn't that much of a compliment, it's like saying you are an okay cook. Second, I'm pretty sure they just looked at the scoring leaders and asked those people with no regard to how they play.

Unfortunately or fortunately due to club policy we cannot play for a team in a division where the club has a team, so I couldn't say yes, but I wasn't disappointed, because having them believe I'm a decent player is much better than playing for them and proving otherwise.

Sometimes I feel like that with writing. In my mind I'm a good writer, of course in my mind I'm good at a lot of other things, but sometimes it's still hard to send out chapters to my critique partners or queries, because the rejections or critiques might prove otherwise.

Anyone else feel that way or maybe I'm the only one with major insecurities?

14 comments:

rebel_of_nowhere said...

You summed it up perfectly. Your perception of your own work can be vastly different from someone else's, even if they might view it in a more positive light. Having to risk that not happening is what can be so nerve wracking!

Laura Pauling said...

I used to feel like that but now I just look forward to the feedback. Even if it means a complete rewrite. I'd rather know.

Patti said...

Rebel: It is nerve wracking.

Laura: It's kind of like exercising, you always dread getting started, but you never regret doing it.

Aubrie said...

Oh yes I feel exactly like you. I know I'm a decent writer, but nowadays you have to be phenomenal to get an agent's attention.

strugglingwriter said...

"I have heard through several reliable sources that you are a decent player."

That made me laugh. Like you said, not much of a compliment.

Still, congrats on the goal scoring success.

Janna Qualman said...

Insecure? *raises hand* I try to hide it, though. (Which is easier online.)

I think it.is.awesome you play soccer, Patti. That's major cool points!

Shannon O'Donnell said...

Wow! You nailed that particular insecurity pretty well - that's exactly how I feel about my writing. I just keep hoping I'll find SOMEBODY who will think my story is as kid-friendly as I do! :-)

Tabitha Bird said...

I understand EXACTLY how you feel :)

Terri Tiffany said...

You are not alone! LOL I just sent my work out to some old friends and I am so afraid to have them read it but I know I need the feedback to grow as a writer.
You are awesome that you can play sports like that! I barely can do the treadmill!

Jill Kemerer said...

I love it--decent player! Ha! Yes, it's tough to send my writing out. I've developed a pretty thick skin, but it's still nerve-wracking.

Carolyn V. said...

You are not alone with this Patti. I'm just so grateful for my critique buddies who help me fix my great writing. =)

Dara said...

Yes. I know I'm my own worst critic. Perhaps it's some weird sort of defense mechanism, but it's a poor one for me. :P

Patti said...

So glad to see I'm not alone. It's hard not to be your own worst critic. Sometimes I feel like if I put it down before someone else I won't feel as bad, which is so wrong.

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