Monday, June 22, 2009

Compared to ...

In the town I live in there is a hill that is about a mile long and is at an 8% grade. You can see the bottom bit in the photo. A few years ago when I finally got serious about losing the baby weight, I used to bike up it. I’d do it two or three times a week. At the beginning of the summer it took me 24 minutes to go up. By the end I was doing it in 18 or 19 minutes.

My husband could do it in 11 minutes and he often went up twice in a row.

With the broken wrist I haven’t been able to try this summer. My husband, who I’ll remind you had ankle surgery in April and hasn’t been able to do anything in 2 ½ months, decided to try and bike up it on Saturday.

While he was gone I thought alright finally I’ll be able to beat him. Surely he wouldn’t be able to do it faster than 18 minutes, he hasn’t been doing anything for 2 months. I was wrong. He did in it 16:50. Even injured he’s faster than me.

Comparing myself to others is a bad habit I’m really trying to stop. I am bad for comparing myself to others on all levels. Hair, weight, height, clothes, how they kick a soccer ball. It’s bad.

On Sunday we were in Sunday school and someone made the comment that Comparing yourself to others either makes you feel inferior or superior and both are bad.

I have to keep remembering that everyone writes differently and we all have strengths and weaknesses. My weaknesses may be others strengths and vice versa. All I can do is focus on the things I need to do better and not compare my book to one that’s already been published.

So this is my resolution for this week. No comparisons.

I won’t compare how I write to others. I won’t compare their story to mine. I will read a book just for fun and not over analyze it. I will focus on me being who I am and not trying to be someone else.

Wish me luck.

14 comments:

JKB said...

Good luck.
Mind if I join you in that? I'd like to try that for myself

uninvoked said...

Sounds like a great idea. I know for a fact that I can't (read: won't) bike up a mile long hill of any sort. You should be proud of yourself for getting out there and completing the task you set for yourself.

Lazy Writer said...

Good for you! Maybe we all need to try it. Comparisons get me in trouble a lot. Good Luck! Keep us posted on how it goes.

strugglingwriter said...

Good luck! It sure is hard to not compare ourselves to others in our competitive culture.

Chantele said...

Good luck!:) It is so hard not to compare myself to others. It is one of my big flaws... I'll try to keep this post in mind the rest of this week, and do your resolution with you!

Anonymous said...

You are right, comparing yourself to others isn't good either way. I never thought of it that way. We all excel in different ways. I'll bet hubby can't make cookies like you can!!!

Kasie West said...

Oh my gosh, I do this ALL THE TIME! In fact, I made the same goal last week after reading a review of a book on someone's blog. I got really down on myself. That is when I made a vow not to do it. It's hard, but I just got through reading a book and only compared myself to the writer a few times. LOL It's a work in progress. :)

jenniferneri said...

wow - ego! Hardest thing not to please! Striving not to compare ourselves is an amazing thing that I see with my young kids every day. It's human nature - it's what we do. That said, I agree that we only come fully into our voice and style and cadence and etc when we stop comparing and sink into who we are.

Patti said...

All excellent comments. I'm glad to see that I'm not alone in this struggle.

Heidi said...

Amen to that!!!

It's so easy to read someone else's writing and think, "I could never write like that!" and forget that, no one else can either.

Each writer is unique.

Which is why the list of books in my near-to-be-read list is not in the genre I write in. It's so much easier not to compare if I know it's not what I write.

For a while, I'd like to skip the comparisons as well! Good luck!

Jessie Oliveros said...

I think that when I compare myself too much to other writers I start to sound too much like other writers in my writing and less like myself. I'm sorry you didn't kick your husband's butt. Maybe you could break his other ankle.

Holly Kennedy said...

I think at some point or another everyone falls into this trap and you're right, it's not healthy on any level is it? Best to celebrate our own personal strengths + fully recognize (and work on) our individual failings.

That's stressfull enough all by itself!

Patti said...

Heidi: I agree sometimes reading out of your genre is more relaxing.

Jessie: If I break his other ankle then I'll never get him to take out the garbage

Holly: I'm all into recognizing our own strengths. It's just that identifying your own is sometimes tricky.

MzzLily said...

Sunday school can teach us so much! My granddaughter is a fabulous writer and yet it is totally opposite my style. The trick is finding the audience for your style.

Thanks for visiting my 'author' blog. I do love Nathan's. Lots of good advice...

Lily